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Monday, June 13, 2011

My New Doorbell

For months our doorbell didn't work.  Finally, after several months, and knowing we were having company, my daughter put a sign on the door telling people to knock.  I never read the sign, but noticed when answering the door - people were kind of laughing about the sign.  Finally I read it.  Here's what it said (in her goofy words):  "The doorbell done went off and broke itself.  Please knock." I see why they were laughing!!  The sign stayed put and people kept knocking, but I kept wanting it fixed.

Months went by and finally, on May 7th  my husband fixed the doorbell!  He had actually tried to find the problem once before, but wasn't able to figure it out at that time.  What seemed like should have fixed it, didn't. So time went on and the sign directed visitors to knock so we would know they were there.

On Mother's Day, my husband apologized for not having a gift for me.  I'm not a big Mother's Day fan as I've blogged about before.  To me, I would rather my children just honor me and show me that they love me every day.  (Note to those who might thing this is strange: I also think of those who are hurting on those types of days, so I try to be sensitive to them - both mothers or those who "want" to be mothers, but also to children who may not have mothers or who are not with their mothers because of abuse and neglect.)  So, to my husband's apology I replied, "That's not true.  you fixed my doorbell!  That is better than any gift!"  And, to me, it is.  I would much rather have things fixed that need to be fixed than to receive any type of gift or treat.  Those kinds of things, to me, show love.

Which brings me to another point about marriage.  Some women and men need "me" time.  Some couples need "us" time.  Those things are great in moderation,  but, for me, I try not think too much about "me" or "us". I strive to just think of my role as a wife and mother and I really don't need those things to be happy.  Maybe you do.

Do I like to go out on a date with my husband?  Sure.  That's nice and we do on a very rare occasion, but for us we don't "need" that like some might.  I would rather have us all together as a family because those times are getting fewer and fewer as our children get older and they are going to be gone before too long. We're together at activities, but there are very few times we're just all together relaxing and having fun.  Those are the times I cherish.  I enjoy the activities, too, but especially like the family time playing games or meal times at the table.

Do I need weekend get-aways with my husband?  They're fun!  We've done that a few times, too, but again, for me....for us.....we want to be together on trips together as a family.  We had six years before children to do a lot and we will have many more after they leave home (if it's the Lord's will).  We want to spend time with them while they are here.  For us, that's what we want and it's what we feel is right for our family.  Our trips are usually to stock shows and Rangers games and a few longer vacation times.

So, here's my point:  We're all different.  We all will feel different about our wants and our needs.  What is important is that there is communication in the marriage and in the family.  What is important is "being there" for each other.  Quality time is important, but so is quantity time.  Lots of "things" can get in the way of marriage and family:  work, hobbies, recreation, entertainment, etc.  Marriages take work and families take work.  They won't just "happen" and be good or great without all parties working together. Communication is the key.  That's how you and I will know what our spouse and what our family members need and want.  We won't have to guess what people need or want when we all communicate the way we should.

On this Gratituesday, I am grateful - extremely grateful for my fixed door bell!  It's a wonderful gift and has the sweetest sound (it really does!!  I want people to come over, just so I can hear it.  I've asked my children to ring it on occasion.  Weird, I know! :).

What makes you grateful?  You may like dates, getaways, flowers, jewelry....or maybe like me.....a new doorbell!

Join us for GRATITUESDAY at Heavenly Homemakers!

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