Goals - A Public Service Announcement for Teenaged Girls

Marriage and family/parenting topics are my very favorite things to talk about.  One thing that I keep noticing - especially on social media - is lists of things that girls expect from boys.  They go on and on and on with what they expect.  Are some of those things good?  Of course.  But the problem is that many girls expect a long list of things from boys, yet they believe that they act any way they please and it's just fine.  Having three boys, I'm especially protective of them in regards to girls - well, pushy girls, anyway.  And any girl that thinks that one of my boys will be their "everything" will be sadly mistaken.  None of my three boys are perfect.  In fact, NO boy is perfect.  And no girl is, either.

Yesterday morning I wrote a quick message to my young girl friends.  I know some of them will pay attention to it and think about it and perhaps some of the adult women will, too.  I had several comments and messages about it...even people wanting to print it off for their granddaughters.  I pray it helped even one to think about how they view boys.  It will save them a lot of heartache in life if they realize these things.

Here it is:

"GOALS"

Public Service Announcement for my teenage girl friends who I care very much about!!

DON'T expect too much from boys. Some of you want him to be EVERYTHING for you. HE CAN'T BE. No one can be that except God.

Boys were made by God to be much different than you. Their brains are wired very different from yours. Do not expect them to understand your needs and wants and desires in everything. It's not that they aren't intelligent, but that they just were created differently from you. They can not think the way you do. It's impossible. (And based on raising three and being married to one, they each understand women/girls in different capacities, based on their personalities and genetic make-up.) And different doesn't mean wrong or inferior either way.

Don't base your worth on what society tells you is right. It's not about social media popularity. It's not about wearing the right clothes, having a boyfriend, or any of that stuff that won't matter in 10 years...even five years.

Your are worthy because you were made by an awesome God who loves you and cares for you. No human on earth will ever compare to that, so don't look for and expect that to be your source of happiness.

If you want to be treated like a princess, then act like one. Don't expect a perfect prince, though. He doesn't exist. Those are Disney fairytales. 😊 But don't expect your prince to be almost perfect, yet you, the princess,  gets to act as please. That's not fair. If you want to be treated like a princess, then treat him like a prince. It goes both ways.

Don't be in a hurry. Someday you'll find "the one". In that process, don't lower your standards because you're lonely and feel incomplete. Wait. It will be worth it. It may not be a Disney fairytale, but it will be yours.

That's "goals".

Special Times With My Boys

When my husband is out of town and it's just the three boys and I, I like to use those times to have special talks during my nightly devotional with them. Last night before we read a passage of scripture, I had them list ten things they wanted to be as a husband, dad, and man when they grew up.  It's always a little hard for them to begin talking, and there are a lot of laughs at first, but then they get serious about what they want for their future.  I love hearing their thoughts, dreams, and desires.  Most of all I love hearing that they want to raise their children along with a Christian spouse, bringing their children up in the Lord.  That's the most important thing and what I want most for my boys (and for my daughter, too).

I love hearing about what my boys want for their families: A day together once a week (though one said that would sometimes be tough, knowing that he wants to make that a priority makes me proud and gives me great joy).  They want to discipline their children and teach them right from wrong.  One said he didn't want to be too tough on his children (that would be the youngest who is going through some tough discipline, himself! Ha ha!).  One wants to spend vacation times together.  One said they wanted to continue to be close to his siblings.  All of these "family" issues showed me that family is very important to my boys.  I'm so thankful that it is, and pray that it continues to be for them.

After the boys went to bed, I was thinking about other questions I would ask them at the dinner table today.  Dinner, lunch, supper, even breakfast....whatever it is....when you're gathered together as a family is the most important aspect of family life.  Unfortunately when children are involved in extra-curricular activities, those times are sometimes rare.  It has to be a family priority to even happen. It won't happen by accident.  But that's when special discussions take place, just as they do during family devotionals.

Learning more about how my boys think is a crucial part of parenting.  I don't want them to grow up and I find I don't know much about them.  I want to know how they think and what they enjoy.  When we're on shopping trips - just one on one with them - we talk about things.  When it's just one in the house after school, we talk about things.  At other times, there are special times when I get special times with one or all of the boys. They'll be gone before I know it, so these times together are very special - times when we just talk.

Thank you, God, for the special times with my boys!

Part 2 - The Chronicles of Biscuit - Bread and Water

Read Part 1 here.

The Chronicles of Biscuit - Stories about our youngest son, Tyler, whose nickname is Biscuit.

Well, if you remember my "Let it Snow!" post, I was all excited about our big snow storm coming.  We got several inches, but not as much as was expected; still, though, enough came down early in the morning that school was canceled and the kids were home all day.  But the day went from "Boys Just Wanna Have Fun" to "Boys Just Want to Argue"!

It was way too cold and windy to play in the snow yesterday, so the boys played in the house.  They also helped their sister and I clean and straighten the house for awhile.  Things would go smoothly with the boys' play time and then I would hear arguing.  I would put on my "referee" suit when needed, then all would be back to normal.

Later on in the afternoon, as I was cleaning in the kitchen, I knew Biscuit and one of his brothers were wrestling in the living room, but it wasn't too rough at the time, so didn't say anything. A little bit later I heard Biscuit crying and yelling that his brother had caused him to hit the edge of the ottoman. He was holding the left side of his forehead and eye area.  His glasses were off and he was holding his face.  I thought he'd hit his eye.  I'm very over-protective about his eyes, especially, because he has a history of glaucoma. 

Eventually he let me look at his eye and head and everything looked okay, though I know it must have hurt.  The brother explained that it wasn't on purpose and handed me Biscuit's glasses, which were all bent up.   I told the two boys that they couldn't play together the rest of the day (which only amounted to a couple of hours).   I was a little frustrated that all three had argued off and on all day, and although this problem was an accident, it was just the rough-housing getting too out of hand. And on top of that, now Biscuit's glasses were all messed up. 

I got the glasses screwdriver and some pliers and went to working on the glasses frames...trying to straighten them.  Then the lens popped out.  I could feel myself getting more and more frustrated!  And then, you will never guess what happened.  I heard Jacob yell at his brother, "Don't kick me!"  I jumped up and headed to the living room and asked what had happened.  Biscuit had gotten up out of the chair, walked over to Jacob and kicked him!!!  That is something that we just don't allow and I can't think of many times it's ever happened and now all of these things are happening in one day!!!

Back to the bedroom Biscuit and I went.  He received the spanking he most certainly needed and deserved. (Don't worry if you're not one who believes in spanking.  My children are very aware and totally understand the difference between spanking in relation to discipline and hitting/kicking/etc.)

Okay. Back to the glasses and frames.....I tried and tried to get the teeny, tiny little screw back into place, before finally realizing the screw had fallen out completely. 

Have you ever looked for a little teeny, tiny glasses frames screw? 

It was no where to be found.  So, my frustration grew even more as I realized I would be making an unplanned trip to Altus the next morning to get them fixed.  UUUUGGGGHHHHH!!!!

MOM NEEDED A TIME OUT!!!!! 

 

I'm not so sure they work for disciplining children, but they work wonders for moms!  I retreated to my bedroom and sat down at the computer desk.  I told the boys to begin taking their showers before their dad got home from work.  Although I would NEVER, EVER do this, I thought to myself, "If those boys argue one more time, I'm telling them that their supper is going to be bread and water!"  Take food away from my boys and you've got some really sad boys!  I kind of laughed inside thinking about the "prison" meal I'd thought of - yet would never have done.

Biscuit took his shower first - in the bathroom by our room.  Jacob went in to the bathroom for something and I heard the sweetest thing:  Biscuit said, "Jacob, I'm sorry I kicked you."  Wow!  An apology from Biscuit to his brother....all on his own!  Then Jacob said, "I'm sorry I pushed you." (My mind was thinking ....."PUSHED"....you said it was an accident and now you said pushed.....but my heart was still touched because they were apologizing to each other without any prodding from me).  Later all three of them apologized to me for the way they had argued throughout the day. (sweet)

As Biscuit got out of the shower, dripping wet, but with the towel wrapped all around himself, he came over to me crying.  He said, "Moooommmmm, would you be so kind to feed us supper?  Would you give us more than bread and water?"  I couldn't believe it!  Why would he have even asked a question like that?  And even more important, how did he know that the same little evil thought had entered my mind for a short second just minutes before?!

I really, really think God was working in that whole situation!!! 

I asked Biscuit today why he asked about bread and water.  Why would he have ever thought I would feed them that?  I've heard that prisoners eat it (don't know if it's true) but he doesn't watch anything that would have said anything like that.

He said, "That's just the worst meal I could ever think of!"

Little did Biscuit know that during his shower and immediately after my "bread and water" thought, I had texted their daddy and asked if he would take them to Sonic to eat after he got home.

I printed off some Sonic coupons, my husband took the boys to Sonic, Lauren worked in her room, and Mommy got her TIME OUT! :)

Note:  I found this verse, which is very fitting (and quite interesting!) in relation to this post:
A meal of bread and water in contented peace is better than a banquet spiced with quarrels.
Proverbs 17:1

The Chronicles of Biscuit - Part 1 "Boys Just Wanna Have Fun"

Yes, I know that Cindi Lauper's song was "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun", but so do boys, right?  Or so Biscuit told me last week.

The Chronicles of Biscuit - Stories about our youngest son, Tyler, whose nickname is Biscuit

Biscuit and his two brothers were playing outside last Friday. They were so excited because the snow had finally melted off of the driveway enough where they could play basketball.  Well, not long into the game, Biscuit came in crying.  He managed to get out of his mouth the fact that his brothers were making fun of him because he was crying getting beat.  I told Biscuit to remind the two brothers, that only last year did they stop crying about getting beat in Liverpool (a type of Rummy card game our family plays a lot) sometimes.  He was rather pleased with the ammunition he has to use against his brothers.  Apparently it worked because play time resumed.  I was pleased for the moment, as well.  I didn't even have to go outside and referee!

Not even fifteen minutes later, here came Biscuit again - CRYING!  This time one of the boys had hit him in hard with a snowball and it really hurt. This time mom was not so gentle.  This time mom HAD to be the referee.  Biscuit wears glasses.  The snowball could have hit his glasses and hurt them or hit his face.

I went outside and began scolding the brother who threw the snowball.  As I explained the problem - the head being hit, the glasses being hit, the eyes possibly being hit - the snowball-throwing brother began to explain the situation further.  Apparently he only threw the snowball because Biscuit had hit him in the head with one first.

"Oh, really?", I asked.  I turned my attention to Biscuit once again.  "You didn't tell me you hit Jacob in the head with a snowball first.  That's why he hit you, isn't it?", I asked.  Biscuit stammered through tears again and said, "Yeeeeahhhhhh....bbbbuuuttttt....we were just trying to have some fun!!" It was just pitiful and funny all at the same time!

I talked to them all a little bit about safety and getting along, then walked back towards the garage.  As I was going I began singing in my head, "Boys Just Wanna Have Fu-un".

I love my boys :).  They have fun and they are fun! 

Part 2 tomorrow: The Chronicles of Biscuit:  Bread and Water.

Date Night with the Boys

My husband's work place (Tipton Home) was given tickets to see the Globetrotters last night in Wichita Falls.  Because he had a board meeting, he wasn't able to take our three boys, so I volunteered to take them.  Our daughter was busy working/watching basketball games, so she couldn't attend, either.

I had seen the Globetrotters as a child, so I was excited for the boys to see them.  I picked them up after school and we headed for Texas.  Of course, being boys, they were only interested in shopping at one place before we ate or headed to the game - Academy Sports.  We looked around and the youngest found a few things he needed, before going to eat.

I let the boys choose where to eat.  One of them suggested Olive Garden.  My husband had given me an Olive Garden gift card for Christmas, so that made it an even better suggestion. (Although, maybe Joe intended for me to invite him when I used the gift card????!)  Anyway, the as the waitress seated us, she asked if we wanted a table or a booth.  The boys said a booth.  I love what middle-son, Jacob (12 years old), asked as we sat down at the booth.  "Mom, if you were going to propose to someone, would you want to set at a booth or a table?"  The oldest, Zachary, and I both agreed that a booth might be better for privacy. 

My heart swelled with pride that Jacob's mind was thinking of sweet proposal ideas!  Not that I'm wanting him to propose to anyone any time soon, mind you, but that he actually has a plan and some ideas.  Because his daddy did not.....but I'll save that post for another time! :)

We headed to see the Globetrotters, meeting up with the rest of the Tipton Home group.  The Globetrotters are talented, fun, and entertaining.  The boys, as well as all of our group, enjoyed the show.  Afterwards, we stood in line to get a few autographs with some players.

Date night with the boys was special.  I love getting the opportunity to spend time with all of them together or with my daughter by herself, or each of the boys, individually.  I know they'll be grown up before too long and I will miss those times, but I hope they always remember the special times.  It doesn't have to cost a lot of money.  It doesn't have to be anything elaborate.  Just time spent together making memories.  Talking, sharing, laughing, and learning....

Thank you, God, for my children!

What Are My Little Boys Made Of?

What are my little boys made of?

Baseball bats and things like that.

Jerseys, balls, and lots of hats.

Thats what my little boys are made of.

What are my little boys made of?

Hugs and kisses,dreams and wishes

One who gardens and one who fishes.

That's what my little boys are made of.

What are my little boys made of?

Football games and bicycle chains,

Basketball goals and lots of trains.

That's what my little boys are made of.

What are my little boys made of?

Cars and trucks and Lego blocks,

Hide and seek and sidewalk chalk.

That's what my little boys are made of.

What are my little boys made of?

Bugs and dirt, making lots of things,

One who creates and one who sings.

That's what my little boys are made of.

What are my little boys made of?

Uniquely designed, God had each in mind,

I love them all – they're one of a kind.

And that's what my little boys are made of.

Written by Lori

August 24, 2010