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Monday, June 11, 2012

Changes and Heart Pain

I've never been a fan of change.  In fact, I don't like change much at all.  But, as we all know, change is inevitable and we must learn to live with it - whether we like it or not.

The first "change" I ever remember not liking was at my maternal grandparents' house.  It seemed like every time I would visit them, my grandma had changed her den furniture around.  She enjoyed the change.  I didn't.  I wanted things just like they were.  I'm still that way.  It's really hard for me to change most things.  I guess it's a good for a marriage because I'm not the type of wife that is always looking to change and redo things in the house or even my wardrobe.  My husband should be thankful! :)

Yes, sometimes changes in life are tough.  Sometimes they make your heart hurt.

In the past week, there have been several changes that have been hard.  To start off, our oldest child (daughter) was selected to attend Washington Leadership Conference in Washington, D.C.  It was an FFA trip and she was dropped off eight days ago to travel by bus with hundreds of other Oklahoma FFA members, as well as members from other states.  I was so excited for her to have this great opportunity, but as I dropped her off and drove off, my heart hurt.  I cried at the thought of her going so far away, but that didn't last too long because I was really glad she was able to go.  But my mind drifted to what will be happening in the near future - she'll be a Senior in high school and in a little more than a year, she'll go away to college.  My heart will hurt again.....but again I'll be excited for her new opportunities.  I'm sure I'll have a hard time at that time, but the three boys will keep me busy with my "mom" job and we'll have different kinds of special times with our daughter.

The next heart pain came with news that my parents had sold their house and bought a house and were moving almost four hours away from me, but to where my sister and her husband and children live.  I've been in close proximity to my parents all but 18 months in my life. I left home after one year of college (where I drove to and lived at home) and got married.  My husband and I moved to southwest Kansas for a year and a half and I felt like I had gone to a foreign country!  I hadn't ever been away from my family before and I didn't like it.  He didn't either.  We both wanted to be back closer to our hometowns and soon were able to move to his hometown - where we've been ever since.  My parents moved to another town, but were then only 20 miles away instead of 30,  from our small town.  Now, after having them close for 22 and a half years, they'll be far.  We didn't get to see them a lot, anyway, and now those times may be even fewer.  It's tough.  It's a change I don't like.  It's a change that makes my heart hurt.

And lastly, but the worst change in our lives that is causing heart pain is that my father-in-law is in the last days of life on this earth.  After battling cancer for years, he was continuing treatments, but three weeks ago he had a stroke.  Due to complications from the stroke (couldn't swallow, developed pneumonia, etc.) his health began to deteriorate rapidly about a week ago.  A few days ago the doctor let us know that nothing else could be done to restore his health as far as the medical side goes.  Of course, we believe in prayer and know that God could restore my father-in-law's health, but we also realize that this does not seem to be in His plan.

When I think of these changes, I realize that many who read this will have gone through them and survived.  I know that, with God's help, I will get through it, as well.  I may not like it, but I'll get through it.  On this Gratituesday, I am grateful for God's plans and His ways.  They may not always be what I wanted or how I wanted, but they are His....and I can know that He is in control.

With my daughter, she got home today and had a wonderful trip!  We missed her so much, but are also very thankful she had a great time during this amazing opportunity.  She's growing up, and I get excited about her future.  The future (the far out future!) in regards to her and our boys will give me a son-in-law and daughters-in-law....and then grandchildren.  I get excited about that.

With my parents moving far away,  there is bright side.  When they do come to visit they'll be actually staying all night in our home.  Maybe it will actually end up being more time together, instead of short little visits or attendance at some school or sports events.  My children are excited about them staying in our home!  And, we'll get to stay in their home, too.  Most of the time, since my sister's family would stay at my parents when they came to visit, we would just visit, but then come back to our own beds so they wouldn't be crowded.

Death is a change like no other.  It can cause the most heart pain of all.  However, because of my father-in-law's faith, hope, and trust as a child of God, we know that death in the earthly body means nothing.  We know that the soul will live forever and that some day we will join him and see him again when we all get to Heaven.  There is no greater joy than knowing that your loved one will spend eternity with the Heavenly Father.  I can't imagine realizing that a loved one would be lost forever and be spending eternity in the torment of Hell.  That would be a heart pain that would be extremely hard to get over.

So, may I ask you to please pray for me and pray for my family and extended family?  I would appreciate it very much.  I'll eventually get used to the changes, and God will help comfort with the heart pain, I know.  Life will continue on and memories of what used to be with be precious.  Thank you, God, for your plans.....even when they are different from my wants.

Join us for GRATITUESDAY at Heavenly Homemakers!

1 comment:

Wa Wa Waughs said...

I forgot about your parents moving. Seems like life is like that sometimes, we are just rolling along, then all of a sudden, several things happen.

I'm sad too but I do not grieve like those who have no hope! I Thess. 4:13

Love you!

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