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Monday, December 6, 2010

Mommy Feelings

I remember thinking, several years ago, that when our family was out of the "diapers and car seat" stage, life was going to be so much easier.  And, in many ways it is.  We don't have to remember to pack extra diapers and wipes when going away from home, and we don't have to switch car seats back and forth from one vehicle to another.  The "baby stuff" is gone.

But now that our two oldest are teenagers, the third is a preteen, and the little one thinks he is (smile), I am finding that the "diaper and car seat" stage wasn't so bad after all.  I really do miss the kids all being little.  Rocking them and holding them and even pushing them in the stroller (the double stroller, of course) are some of my fondest memories and I would love to be able to go back to that time and do it again.  This stage of life is fun, too, but it has come with a new emotion for me - one that I really don't enjoy having.  I've phrased it "Mommy Feelings" and the emotion comes from when my "Mommy Feelings" are hurt.  I don't like that emotion.

Some parents try to push their children to do all sorts of things.  They strive to live out their dreams in the lives of their children. For the most part, I don't think my husband and I do that.  We know what our children's gifts and abilities are and try to be realistic in those gifts and abilities and not expect too much.  So, where do the hurt "Mommy Feelings" come in?  It's when someone else hurts, disappoints, or neglects one of my children.  That's when my "Mommy Feelings" get hurt and when I feel like a mama bear who needs to protect her little bear cubs. 

Use to I probably would have tried to protect my children from these types of things, and if it was something dangerous, of course I would now.  But, with most of the things that cause this emotion, I can't do anything - and shouldn't do anything - to help the situation.  I have to realize that those times are learning experiences for my children and that, in the end, it is good for them.  They need to learn that life is not fair....only God is fair.  They need to learn that some people will disappoint and let them down....only God will never fail them.  It's a hard lesson for them to learn.  It's also a hard lesson for me to let them learn.

Whenever my children are teasing me and having fun and say something to me in a jokingly hurtful way, I tell them that "they hurt my last feeling".  They laugh and I look sad.  It's kind of a game we play.  Believe me, they would know if it was something that was serious and shouldn't be said...something that was really hurtful.  But those playful times are fun.  I enjoy teasing with them.  But, when the "Mommy Feelings" get hurt, it's not funny.  It's a genuine hurt and pain that is because of something that is happening to one of my children.

Last week my "Mommy Feelings" got hurt.  I was upset and a little bit mad.  Sometimes when my "Mommy Feelings" are hurt, my child's feelings are hurt, too.  That's when it's really tough.  But last week, my son Zachary, taught me a big lesson.  Instead of being upset (like I was), he was smiling.  He was optimistic.  He was encouraging to others around him - just like he always does.  Zachary was being more mature than I was being!  Hmmmmmm....... 

So, about these "Mommy Feelings".......I'm sure they'll come back from time to time.  I'm sure that hurting emotion will come back.  But, you know what?  In the midst of hurt feelings, I still have a choice.  I have a choice to be mad or not.  I have a choice to complain and sulk or not.  I have a choice to act out my feelings or not.  And ultimately, I have a choice to sin....or not.

Thank you, Zachary, for being a great example.  I appreciate you. and I am proud of you!  I am grateful to have you for a son.

This post is linked to Gratituesday.  To see what others are grateful for, visit Heavenly Homemakers.

1 comment:

Wa Wa Waughs said...

that's great that he can do that - maybe it's more a guy thing??? I recently had a similar circumstance and even tho I woke up in the middle of the night thinking about it, I didn't talk about it or go on incessantly - I just prayed and I forgot about it within a couple of days.

 
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