NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH

Many years ago we heard someone say, "Coaches have to lie." We said to ourselves, "No...no they don't." We don't believe that and hopefully you don't, either. 

No one HAS to lie. Everyone has a choice whether to be honest or not, but sadly many make a habit of lying early in life, so it becomes an addiction that gets out of control just like any other addiction. The lying cycle is hard to stop, especially when it's been a habit for so long.

Many, hopefully most, coaches are honest people. We believe most are! But perhaps there are professions where lying is common. If someone does happen to be in a profession that causes them to be tempted to lie, or where they feel as if they have to lie, it's time to change professions, don't you think? 

Teach your children to be honest from an early age, but always show them the example of honesty in your life for them to emulate. If you lie on "small" (There's no such thing as small, little-white-lies. They're all big, equally wrong in God's eyes.) things, your children will see it and learn to do the same. 

Be honest, even when it's tough. Be kind, but be honest. It's a character trait that all should strive to have. Reputations are destroyed by lies. Be careful with your words.

“The Lord detests lying lips, but he delights in people who are trustworthy.”

Proverbs 12:22 

“There are six things the Lord hates, seven that are detestable to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, a false witness who pours out lies and a person who stirs up conflict in the community.”

Proverbs 6:16-19

Not me!

Me: Who spilled the water and left it on the counter?

Child #1: Not meeee!

Child #2: NOT me!  Nooooottttt meeeee!!!

Me thinking: "Nobody" did it.

Me:  Who left their dirty clothes out in the bathroom?

Child #3: Not me! NNNoooooottttt MEEEEE!

Child #4:  NOT MEEEE!

Me thinking....again:  Nobody did it.  Again.

Me:  Who ____________________?

Child #1: Not me.

Child #3: NOT ME!

Me thinking....yet again:  Not anybody.  Nobody. Nobody always does it, don't they?

If you're a parent, or deal with children at all, most likely you have had a conversation like the ones I've written above.  I often say to my children after one of those types of conversations, "I didn't ask who didn't do it.  I asked who DID do it!".  I want the answer and the truth.  Sometimes the one who did do it stays silent, but usually the guilty party confesses to the issue.  Now that they're older, thankfully, those conversations don't come very often.

This funny little word plaque in the picture was at a hotel where we stayed on a high school girls softball trip in Oklahoma City.  I snapped this picture right before something terrible.....and funny happened.....so it made it extra interesting.

Some of the girls were sitting under a wall fountain in the hotel lobby.  When one of them was helping another one get up, a shoulder accidentally bumped the wall fountain and it fell off of the wall, crashing into two of the girls, spilling the water and rocks, and essentially breaking the whole thing.

We were in shock.  Could. NOT. MOVE.  Another mom and I were unsure of what to even do.  We just looked at each other, then rushed to help the girls, then went to tell the hotel personnel.  Of course we all felt terrible, but the girls were especially embarrassed and a few of them were actually in pain.  We laughed, but not because we thought it was funny that something broke....just the fact that what had happened really did happen.  The girls most likely would have liked to say that word quote:  WHATEVER IT IS, I DIDN'T DO IT!  (*The fountain was repairable!  Yippee!)

It's human nature to want to shy away from situations that will show us as guilty.  We don't want to deliberately mess up or fail.  We don't want to be wrong.  If someone is in trouble, and momma or daddy is coming to find out, we certainly want to be the one that didn't do it, don't we?  So "nobody" gets the blame.

When Stephen spoke to the Sanhedrin as recorded in Acts 6 - 7, he told them the whole gospel of Jesus - beginning with Abraham and right to that present time - when they had rejected Jesus and murdered him.

The people were furious!  They demanded that Stephen be stoned for his words.  It was if they were screaming out to him and to God, "Whatever it is....We didn't do it!!!" But they did do it.  And then they murdered again.  Stephen was stoned.  What a sad day.

My husband often uses the quote, "If you mess up, 'fess up!"  In other words, admit it when you do wrong.  Don't be afraid to take the blame for something done wrong.  Yes, it's difficult to admit it at times, but it's a lot worse to try and cover it up.  Lying about it only makes things worse.

So, whatever it is......if you did it, say it or if you did do it.....Admit it.  And if you didn't......blame your sister :). (Not really, of course!)

A truthful witness gives honest testimony,

    but a false witness tells lies.

Proverbs 12:17

"Thank You for Being Honest!"

Be sure to vote on July's new "Fun Poll". "What is your favorite fruit?"

I'm really embarrased to even tell you part of this story, but I'm going to because it makes a good point.

Last week our family went to Walmart in Altus and purchased several bags with many items. Two things our daughter needed was a pair of shorts and some flip flops, which we found and purchased. That evening, the kids carried all of the sacks into the kitchen and we left them there until the next morning.

While putting up the purchases the next morning, I couldn't find the two items we bought for our daughter. I looked in the van and couldn't find another sack. I sent one or two of the kids to look - no more sacks! I have left things before after checking out, so assumed that I had done the same thing this time. The customer service center writes down what is left and has a record of it.

The next day later we were back in Altus, so we stopped by to get the two items. The lady at the service desk said that it wasn't written down, but told me to go get the two items that I showed her were missing from my ticket. I thanked her for her help and assumed the person who checked out after me had a pair of shorts and flip flops and they didn't know why!

Four days later my husband was cleaning out the van. Because baseball games were winding down, a lot of the chairs, bags, and "stuff" could be taken out - plus we were getting ready to take two kids and their luggage to camp. Guess what he found? The Walmart sack with the two missing items!! How embarrassing! Now I was going to have to go back and return the items that I said we didn't get!

The next day, after dropping our oldest two off at church camp, we stopped by Walmart. Of course, then I had to explain to the door greeter what I was doing, then went to the customer service desk and explained to the ladies there. You know what's amazing, though? The door greeter and those two ladies were shocked that I brought the items back! They could not believe that I didn't just keep them and they all said, "Thank you for being honest."

I really don't feel like I should have been "thanked" for being honest. It seems strange to me to be thanked for doing the right thing. It would never occur to me not to take something like that back. For me, it would be wrong. But, I understand why they thanked me. Unfortunately, some people would have kept the merchandise. I would like to think that most people would have taken the merchandise back, but maybe I'm too optimistic.

Could I have kept the items? Yes. No one would have known, would they? No one from Walmart would have known. None of you would have known. But my children would have known and what would I be teaching them? And, oh, yes, God would know. The One who matters most would know! Of course, He knows everything. He knows my heart. He knows my thoughts. He knows my actions. Nothing can be hidden from God.

O LORD, you have searched me and you know me. Psalm 139:1

Being Honest With Your Children

Are you honest with your children? I've always made a concentrated effort to not lie (even about surprises and such) to my children. I may have had to say, "I can't answer that", or "I don't want to answer that", or even "Don't ask me that." But sometimes it's hard to be honest and truthful, isn't it? We want our children to be good - at everything!! So, we don't really want to tell them, but we really need to.

For example, today my daughter and a friend were practicing the National Anthem for a banquet that will be held tonight. They were performing in front of the middle school students, as well as their advisor, and a few others. They were singing acapella and my daughter was singing alto, while the friend was singing the lead part. There were times it sounded really good, but there were times where...well, to be honest, it was bad! Really bad! Our anthem is a difficult song to sing anyway, but my daughter has only practiced the alto part a few times, and it's just really hard to get. Plus, she is usually singing alto at worship - in a group - and able to follow with others. She was able to be on the right part sometimes, but most of the time it sounded really off.

Immediately after the performance, the advisor came over to me. Before he could say a word I said, "That won't work!" I think he was relieved that I felt the same way! He suggested to me they sing in unison. I left for a little while, and when I came back the two girls asked me what I thought about the earlier performance. I was honest with them and told them that the alto part just was not working. I explained to them that it's hard to get that part anyway (I know because I tried to do it myself when I left and I couldn't get it either!) and that it would sound great for them to sing in unison. They said, "That's just what Mr. W (the advisor)said!". So, they practiced and it sounded much better and on tune. Hopefully it will be at the banquet tonight!

Last week I had to be honest with my daughter about a solo song for this same banquet. She has a good voice - don't get me wrong - but there are some songs that just will not work for her. She's got a deep voice and not many songs are written for girls with deep voices! It was hard to tell her, and I did it kindly, but of course, she was disappointed. She has been able to sing at a few other events throughout the school year, but these two newer songs she was trying to sing would not work for this event.

As a parent, sometimes we have to have the courage to tell our children the truth about their talents and abilities. We have to be honest with them and tell them if they need to improve on something or that maybe something "isn't their thing". I'm all for building my children up and encouraging them (and I do), but too many times children are told how great they are and then they are disappointed later in life when they don't do as good as they assumed they would. They have kind of a false impression of themselves because they've been "puffed up" by their parents and many times by grandparents.

On the positive side, though, my daughter is going to be doing part of her FFA speech tonight. Today as she did her speech during the practice, she did a great job. And, I was able to tell her so. I expect that she will tonight, as well.

Throughout their lives our children will experience success and failures. They'll have many opportunities to try new and exciting things. Some will work out and some will not. We have to be willing to help teach our children to learn to fail - because some time they're going to.

Update: 11:30 P.M. and after the FFA Banquet - The unison anthem and the speech went great. And, I've already told her, "Great job, Lauren!"