A Challenge for Teachers and Parents

Yesterday one of my children and I were discussing something and they said something that really made me think. They said how it is very hard for them - as teens - to hear over and over about how bad their generation is, and how the direction of their future, as a whole, seems to be headed in the wrong direction. It seems that some adults - teachers and parents - think that by tearing down hopes and dreams, they will really be building them up and are encouraging the youth they are instructing. NOT SO! Just NOT SO!

Many years ago another one of my children came home and told me how a school aide had told them how bad of a class they had. Supposedly they were labeled, at least by that individual, as the "worst" class in the elementary. I quickly went to talk to the individual and also talked to the principal. I discussed the whole thing with my child - reassuring him that their class wasn't bad, but also talking about why maybe they had that reputation with a few...or at least one. The class is full. There are many in that class with strong wills and loud voices - my son included. But also, the class is filled with gifted, smart, talented, energetic, and fun children who are excited about being in class and learning each day!

I'm a firm believer in the idea that "you get what you expect". I live by that phrase as a parent - as a mom. I live that as a Bible class teacher. If I was a school teacher (which I wouldn't be!), I would live by that phrase, as well.

I believe if you tell a child they'll never amount to anything, most likely they won't. Yes, there will be some who excel, no matter what they are told and led to believe, but many others won't. I believe if you tell a whole group of teens that they'll never amount to anything, that they're all lazy, and that their generation is going to fail, many will fail. More will fail by hearing that than would have without hearing the insult. Those who don't have strong parental support or a strong sense of self-worth or God-worth, will decide it's just not worth the effort. They may give up. They may become lazy. They may raise children with the same ideas. However, if you tell a group of teens that they CAN make it, that they WILL make it, that they ARE worthy, and that they CAN be successful and good workers with a STRONG work ethic, they'll believe it and do their best to achieve it. Many will be inspired to rise above their circumstances and make a choice to make a better life for themselves.

 So, here is the challenge for teachers and parents as we get ready to embark on a new school year:

BE ENCOURAGING.

USE YOUR WORDS WISELY.

REALIZE WORDS CAN DESTROY.

THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK.

BUILD UP YOUR CHILD/STUDENTS, NOT WITH FALSE AND FLATTERING WORDS, BUT WITH WORDS THAT WILL ENCOURAGE THEM TO FOLLOW THEIR DREAMS.

PRAISE SUCCESSES - NO MATTER HOW SMALL.

WHEN FAILURE COMES - ENCOURAGE CHILDREN/STUDENTS TO RISE ABOVE AND TRY AGAIN.

INSTRUCT WISELY.

BE POSITIVE.

USE DISCIPLINE AS A TOOL TO TEACH AND ENCOURAGE CHILDREN/STUDENTS TO SET HIGH GOALS FOR THEMSELVES.

REALIZE THAT DISCIPLINE SHOWS THAT YOU CARE.

REMEMBER THAT WHAT YOU EXPECT IS WHAT YOU WILL GET - IN ALMOST ANY CIRCUMSTANCE.

REMEMBER THAT CHILDREN/STUDENTS LOOK UP TO YOU.

SET HIGH GOALS AND HIGH EXPECTATIONS FOR YOURSELF.

REALIZE THAT CHILDREN/STUDENTS ARE WATCHING TO SEE THAT YOUR WORDS MIMIC YOUR ACTIONS.

REALIZE THAT CHILDREN/STUDENTS WILL LEARN FROM YOU AND MAY LIVE OUT THEIR LIVES BY WATCHING YOU.

BE A GOOD EXAMPLE.

BE CAREFUL NOT TO CRUSH A CHILD'S/STUDENT'S SPIRIT. 

REALIZE THAT NOT EVERYONE FITS INTO THE SAME MOLD.

REMEMBER THAT IT IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY (AND MINE) TO WORK WITH EACH CHILD/STUDENT, AS AN INDIVIDUAL (WITHIN REASON AS A TEACHER, OF COURSE. TEACHERS DON'T HAVE TIME TO DO ONE ON ONE TIME ALL OF THE TIME. PARENTS DO....OR SHOULD.) AS A PARENT, IT'S YOUR GOD-GIVEN RESPONSIBILITY.

AND AGAIN, BE ENCOURAGING.

For as a man thinks in his heart, so is he. Proverbs 23:7

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.

1 Thessalonians 5:11

are you an EN or a DIS?

Several years ago, on an early, sunny morning, I headed east towards Lawton.  The sun was just coming up and glaring me in the eyes, even though I was wearing sunglasses.  My cell phone rang and I quickly glanced at it, but couldn't tell who it was due to the sun.  I answered and a male voice on the other end said, "Don't worry.  It will get better." 

A little stunned, thinking something bad had happened that I didn't even know about...I stammered out an, "Ooookkkkayyyy."  Then voice continued, "Well, I just met you on the road and you had a frown.  I wanted you to know that whatever was wrong...it would be okay."  After his mini pep talk, I recognized the voice.  It was a friend....a brother in Christ.....calling to encourage me. I explained that the sun was in my eyes and probably causing the frowning face and that I didn't even realized I had met him on the highway.

I've thought about that morning several times over the past few years.  For one thing, even though I wasn't in a bad/sad/worried mood at all that morning, the fact that this Christian brother took the time to call and encourage me, made me feel good the rest of the day.  Another thing is that a few years later, this young husband and father (who struggled with difficult-to-control diabetes) died tragically.....on a road....headed a different direction out of town.  Two very different episodes on a highway going out of town.

After this young man passed away, my children remarked about how he would drive by our house as they played out in the yard.  Typically they were playing some kind of sport.  They would often be wearing OU uniforms, t-shirts, and such.  This young man was an OSU cowboy.  As he would drive by, he would take the time to slow down and roll down the window to yell out at them, "OSU!" or motion with his hands the OSU letters.  The kids enjoyed this fun rivalry with him. One of my sons even wrote an essay about him at school.  He missed his stops in front of the house. He called him an encourager.

When you take the word courage, you can add to it in two very different ways:  add an EN to be an encourager....add a DIS to be a discourager.

Unfortunately, some people are discouragers. It's as if they get their "thrills" from beating others down, by smashing others' dreams, by belittling others' ideas.  Discouragers are all around us, but hopefully the discouragers are not us.

Look at the definitions of each of these words:

Encourage: to inspire with courage, spirit, or confidence

Discourage: to deprive of courage, hope, or confidence; dishearten; dispirit.

Do you inspire or deprive?  Are you an EN or a DIS? 

With the beginning of this new week, I challenge you (and myself) to be an encourager to others - every day.  Take the time to call someone or stop and speak to someone just like this Christian brother did many times.  Take the time to inspire someone this week.

Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.

1 Thessalonians 5:1

Lunch Box Notes

Ever since our first child started Kindergarten 10 years ago, I've been making school lunches at least three times a week. Now that all four of our children are in school, this lunch box preparation takes more time and planning.

With the exception of a few times, I have always put a little note in each of the kid's lunch boxes. On occassion I will have them write each other a note. It's interesting to ask what they've written to one of their siblings and thankfully it's always been nice - maybe funny, but still nice.

I remember when Lauren (the oldest) was in 6th grade. She had moved up to middle school. After taking her lunch for all of those elementary years, she suddenly became a little embarrassed about taking it. It wasn't that she necessarily wanted to eat the school's food, but it was just that most of the kids in her class didn't take their lunch, so she would have to sit alone while waiting on her friends to go through the line.

Sending our kid's with home-packed lunches serves two purposes: First of all, we want to know for sure our kids are eating healthy (whole wheat/whole grain, fruit, non-fried), but secondly, it saves us money.

A few months later after getting used to the new lunch time routine, Lauren's friends began wishing they had their own home-packed lunches. But, it wasn't the lunch they wanted. They wanted the lunch box notes! They would have Lauren read them out loud so they could hear what I would say to her. It's never a really long note - in fact it's quite short. Sometimes the note has a spiritual message. Sometimes it may refer to a school even that will be during that day. But I always make sure to say something postive to the kids and to tell them that I love them.

Last year, when our youngest went to Kindergarten, I quickly realized he wasn't even looking at his notes. It took him a while to get into the lunch routine, but he had one particular friend who noticed the notes. In fact, that little boy told his mom, "I want you to pack me a note in my lunch box just like Tyler gets." She told me about it later.

Little lunch box notes are just one of the many special ways we can tell our family members that we love them and care about them. It lets them know that, although they are not with us at the time, they are still in our hearts.

We can use scripture for our special little notes. We can post a favorite scripture all around your home. We can stick them on the refrigerator door, write them on a kitchen chalkboard, write them on a mirror, maybe even pack them in your own lunch box...anything to help you remember throughout the day that God is with you. You are in His heart. Little lunch box notes can help us remember that God loves us.

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39