A Critical Spirit

I told the ladies in my Wednesday night Bible class that I chose to do the book we are doing for myself.  Learning to "season my words" is something I constantly have to work on.  Maybe you do, too.  Last night's lesson was about critical words.  I used a lot of the book we are using, but also found so many great thoughts from all different sources online.

About having a critical spirit, ask yourself these questions:
Do you criticize and pass judgment on others?
Do you find yourself with a negative disposition, always finding fault with something or someone?
Is it difficult for you to see the positive in a person or a situation because the negative is so glaring in your eye?
Are you compelled to give your critical point of view for the good of all mankind?
Did these questions step on your toes?

If you're like me some of these stepped on my toes, for sure. When I am honest with myself, sometimes I'm way too critical.

*CRITICISM IS AN INSULT ATTACHED TO A COMPLAINT*

Not all criticism is bad, of course.  Constructive criticism is helpful. Constructive criticism is the process of offering valid and well-reasoned opinions about the work of others, usually involving both positive and negative comments, in a friendly manner rather than an oppositional one. The purpose of constructive criticism is to improve the outcome.  It's striving to create a positive change.

I love this story of how a preacher handled criticism or maybe constructive criticism.  He didn’t dismiss it or argue or get upset.

Advice from Dr. Mitchell's life: Someone in his congregation pointed out several faults in him and his preaching. Instead of retaliating, or trying to defend himself, he looked at the woman and said, "If what you say is true, would you mind praying for me?”

*When we are criticized we ought to ask ourselves whether the criticism contains any truth. If it does, we should learn form it, even when it is not given with the right motivation and in the right spirit.* 

*A REAL FRIEND WILL SPEAK THE TRUTH IN LOVE, MAKING US AWARE OF THE PROBLEM AND GIVING US AN OPPORTUNITY TO CORRECT IT.*

When we are criticized, let's accept what is true and act upon it, thereby becoming a stronger person. He who profits from rebuke is wise. H.G.B.

  Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses. Proverbs 27:6

Richard Walters called this negative feedback “beneficial bad news”. He said this:

*We grow by changing the things we need to change, and we can’t change them until we know about them.*

A friend’s honest, but kind advice can save us from future problems.  

Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of a friend springs from their heartfelt advice. Proverbs 27:9

You can’t let praise or criticism get to you. it’s a weakness to get caught up in either one. 

- John Wooden

To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing. - Elbert Hubbard

We are going to be criticized. The key is to learn from that that is constructive and to not allow the hurtful to stop us from shining. This story sums it up:

The story is told of a judge who had been frequently ridiculed by a conceited lawyer. When asked by a friend why he didn't rebuke his assailant, he replied, "In our town lives a widow who has a dog. And whenever the moon shines, it goes outside and barks all night." Having said that, the magistrate shifted the conversation to another subject. Finally someone asked, "But Judge, what about the dog and the moon?" "Oh," he replied, "the moon went on shining--that's all.”

Chronicles of Biscuit - The Critic

(The Chronicles of Biscuit - Stories about our youngest son, Tyler, whose nickname is Biscuit.)

Yesterday as we were driving down the highway, Biscuit said out of the blue, "I want to be a critic when I grow up."  My response should have asked what he wanted to critique, but I guess I was having my own critical thoughts about my youngest wanting to be a critic!  I said, "Well, I'm not sure that is something you should want to be, but sometimes you already are a critic. Sometimes I am, too!" Then  his older brother, my 18-year-old, said, "I want to be a food critic!"  To which I responded, "You already are!"  And he is! And when it comes to food, he has been for a long time!

I told both boys the story about when Zachary was five or so. We were visiting my sister in Lubbock and she had made roast for after-worship-Sunday-lunch.  As he ate, he said, "Your roast isn't as good as moms!"  I was mortified!!  My sister was shocked, but laughed!  I don't remember exactly, but I'm certain it was good. I was probably too embarrassed to think about the taste after that! :)

Zachary is still a food critic! He loves to analyze food, cook food, and of course, eat good food.  But if it's not good, he'll tell you! No matter who you are - even to his mom! Ha ha!  But he'll say it about his own food, too.

I need to go back to yesterday's conversation and see what kind of critic Biscuit wants to be. We got sidetracked on the food part of the conversation and never got back to it.  But Biscuit wasn't talking about food, I know. I think he was meaning a critic in general.  Now that I think about it, it probably had to do with having homework on early-release day.

Some do seem to have grown up and become critics, haven't they?  A critical spirit about everything? Never pleased with anything?

The definition of critic is, "one who expresses a reasoned opinion on any matter especially involving a judgment of its value, truth, righteousness, beauty, or technique."  This makes it sound a little more flattering than "someone who complains".  It is possible to have a reasoned opinion about a matter, yet word it in a way that it isn't complaining.  Or, as I often tell that oldest son "food critic", "You can have an opinion, but not share it."  We don't have to say everything we think!  It's not our duty to share our complaints with the world!  Unless you're a paid critic, that is.  And he's not. I'm not, either.

There is a big difference between helping someone or something improve and in having a critical spirit. A critical spirit is never pleased. A critical spirit expects and finds disappointment wherever it looks. It is the opposite of what we read about in 1 Corinthians 13.  It would say that a critical spirit "arrogantly judges, is easily provoked, accounts for every wrong, and never carries any hope of being pleased." I sure don't want to be that way, do you?!

Biblical criticism is helpful, loving, and based on truth. Correction is to be gentle and always in love. Our personalities should never be an excuse for sin.  Just because we tend to be opinionated, doesn't mean we have the right to criticize and tell others about it.

Galatians 5:22-23 says the Spirit wants to produce in us love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. If criticism cannot be expressed in keeping with the fruit of the Spirit, it's better left unsaid.  The Spirit helps us in times of weakness, when we don't resist that help.

The opposite of criticism is to encourage and build up.  That is what we should be doing with our words and by our actions.  That is when we know that we are living out God's Will for our lives.

Therefore encourage one another and build up one another. 1 Thessalonians 5:11

Let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds. Hebrews 10:24