Changes and Heart Pain

I've never been a fan of change.  In fact, I don't like change much at all.  But, as we all know, change is inevitable and we must learn to live with it - whether we like it or not.

The first "change" I ever remember not liking was at my maternal grandparents' house.  It seemed like every time I would visit them, my grandma had changed her den furniture around.  She enjoyed the change.  I didn't.  I wanted things just like they were.  I'm still that way.  It's really hard for me to change most things.  I guess it's a good for a marriage because I'm not the type of wife that is always looking to change and redo things in the house or even my wardrobe.  My husband should be thankful! :)

Yes, sometimes changes in life are tough.  Sometimes they make your heart hurt.

In the past week, there have been several changes that have been hard.  To start off, our oldest child (daughter) was selected to attend Washington Leadership Conference in Washington, D.C.  It was an FFA trip and she was dropped off eight days ago to travel by bus with hundreds of other Oklahoma FFA members, as well as members from other states.  I was so excited for her to have this great opportunity, but as I dropped her off and drove off, my heart hurt.  I cried at the thought of her going so far away, but that didn't last too long because I was really glad she was able to go.  But my mind drifted to what will be happening in the near future - she'll be a Senior in high school and in a little more than a year, she'll go away to college.  My heart will hurt again.....but again I'll be excited for her new opportunities.  I'm sure I'll have a hard time at that time, but the three boys will keep me busy with my "mom" job and we'll have different kinds of special times with our daughter.

The next heart pain came with news that my parents had sold their house and bought a house and were moving almost four hours away from me, but to where my sister and her husband and children live.  I've been in close proximity to my parents all but 18 months in my life. I left home after one year of college (where I drove to and lived at home) and got married.  My husband and I moved to southwest Kansas for a year and a half and I felt like I had gone to a foreign country!  I hadn't ever been away from my family before and I didn't like it.  He didn't either.  We both wanted to be back closer to our hometowns and soon were able to move to his hometown - where we've been ever since.  My parents moved to another town, but were then only 20 miles away instead of 30,  from our small town.  Now, after having them close for 22 and a half years, they'll be far.  We didn't get to see them a lot, anyway, and now those times may be even fewer.  It's tough.  It's a change I don't like.  It's a change that makes my heart hurt.

And lastly, but the worst change in our lives that is causing heart pain is that my father-in-law is in the last days of life on this earth.  After battling cancer for years, he was continuing treatments, but three weeks ago he had a stroke.  Due to complications from the stroke (couldn't swallow, developed pneumonia, etc.) his health began to deteriorate rapidly about a week ago.  A few days ago the doctor let us know that nothing else could be done to restore his health as far as the medical side goes.  Of course, we believe in prayer and know that God could restore my father-in-law's health, but we also realize that this does not seem to be in His plan.

When I think of these changes, I realize that many who read this will have gone through them and survived.  I know that, with God's help, I will get through it, as well.  I may not like it, but I'll get through it.  On this Gratituesday, I am grateful for God's plans and His ways.  They may not always be what I wanted or how I wanted, but they are His....and I can know that He is in control.

With my daughter, she got home today and had a wonderful trip!  We missed her so much, but are also very thankful she had a great time during this amazing opportunity.  She's growing up, and I get excited about her future.  The future (the far out future!) in regards to her and our boys will give me a son-in-law and daughters-in-law....and then grandchildren.  I get excited about that.

With my parents moving far away,  there is bright side.  When they do come to visit they'll be actually staying all night in our home.  Maybe it will actually end up being more time together, instead of short little visits or attendance at some school or sports events.  My children are excited about them staying in our home!  And, we'll get to stay in their home, too.  Most of the time, since my sister's family would stay at my parents when they came to visit, we would just visit, but then come back to our own beds so they wouldn't be crowded.

Death is a change like no other.  It can cause the most heart pain of all.  However, because of my father-in-law's faith, hope, and trust as a child of God, we know that death in the earthly body means nothing.  We know that the soul will live forever and that some day we will join him and see him again when we all get to Heaven.  There is no greater joy than knowing that your loved one will spend eternity with the Heavenly Father.  I can't imagine realizing that a loved one would be lost forever and be spending eternity in the torment of Hell.  That would be a heart pain that would be extremely hard to get over.

So, may I ask you to please pray for me and pray for my family and extended family?  I would appreciate it very much.  I'll eventually get used to the changes, and God will help comfort with the heart pain, I know.  Life will continue on and memories of what used to be with be precious.  Thank you, God, for your plans.....even when they are different from my wants.

Join us for GRATITUESDAY at Heavenly Homemakers!

Parental Right: Changing Your Mind

Sometimes as a parent, you may have to change your mind. Something that seems right at the time, may need to be reviewed again and changed later on. A rule might possibly need to be bent for a certain reason. A punishment might need to be forgiven. A decision might need to be reviewed. Such is the case with our daughter's soon-to-be cell phone...


I know it may seem strange to most people, but none of our children have a cell phone....even our fifteen year old daughter, Lauren. But in a few days, she will have one. She's excited, but her Dad and I are just as excited.


Lauren wanted a phone several years ago, but we weren't ready for her to have one. After a while she was okay without having one and began to see that in the end it was better that she didn't get one when she was younger.  It's amazing how many kids have cell phones...even in elementary school.


Last year after the third nine weeks of the school year, Lauren and her Dad made a deal....well, actually HE made the deal for her! Lauren had gotten a little lax in her grades and had two B's, which isn't terrible, but we knew she was capable of making A's, except maybe in math. My husband, Joe, told her that if she had a B in math, it was okay, but that it wasn't okay in the other subjects. She agreed that she hadn't been giving it her best and determined to do better. The deal was this: All A's (except could have a B in math) for a whole semester and then she could get a cell phone.

The last nine weeks of last school year Lauren had all A's except math. But, the deal was for a semester, not just a nine weeks period. That meant it wouldn't be until Christmas break.


After the first nine weeks of this year, Lauren actually had all A's...even in math. She told me she really wished that she was getting a cell phone. I did too, actually, because she was gone a lot with ballgames and FFA trips, but I told her that wasn't the deal she made with her Dad, so she wouldn't be getting one. He repeated the same deal to her again, determining she would need to wait as he had first told her she would need to do.


A few days after she received her report card after this year's first nine weeks, my husband said, "I sure wish Lauren had a cell phone." I said, "Well, you made the deal with her. I suppose you could renege!". He didn't say anything. (I think he was thinking about it, but couldn't be sure :)!!)


A few more weeks went by and Lauren was going more and more on basketball scrimmage trips, getting ready for the offical season to start. We went to a few of the scrimmages, but not all of them, due to the boys having activities of their own. Lauren would borrow her friend's phone and let us know how they did, when they were leaving, and what time they would be home so that we could pick her up. Joe said a few days ago, "Lauren really needs her own cell phone so she doesn't have to borrow all one all of the time." In my head I said, "YES!" Outloud I said, "She really does."


So, today, I got the priviledge of telling Lauren the good news and taking her to pick out her new phone, which she will officially get on Monday (in two days). She's so excited!


I'm thankful my husband changed his mind. He realized the need our daughter had of having her own cell phone and determined that his original plan/rule wasn't worth keeping. He realized that it was okay to change the rule and change his mind.


What if he had been too proud to change the rule? What if he had been too stubborn to realize the rule needed to be changed? Oh, yes, she/we could have made it without the cell phone for another month. It wouldn't have hurt anything to wait another month. Lauren could have borrowed from friends some more during that time.  However, I think my husband taught Lauren an important lesson by changing his mind. He taught her (and our boys, too) that it's good to re-think things, that it's okay to change your mind if something's not working. He taught them to not be stubborn when it comes to making decisions, even as the head of the house.


It's kind of interesting the deal my husband has made with our 13-year-old son.  He can get a cell phone at the same age (15), BUT he has to have straight A's.  He doesn't get the "B in math" part of the deal our daughter did.  Why?  Because he's really good in math and it comes easy for him.  If he began to get B's in math we would know he wasn't doing his best. 


I'm wondering how his "deal" may change???  He's probably hopeful for a change in the age of getting a cell phone.  I'm pretty sure that part of the deal won't change. :)

Change

Things change. Some of those changes are good. We have more and more opportunities. We have better capabilities and more knowledge to make things better, stronger, and faster. In technology it seems that as soon as we buy something, a new product is on the market with better storage and smaller packaging. Some things change and it's not good. We see more violence, more divorce, more hatred in the world.

People also change. Our looks change. Sometimes we don't want them to, and sometimes we want them to. Our attitudes change. Sometimes that's for the good, but sometimes it's for the bad. Our personalities change. Again, sometimes that's good, but sometimes it's not. Our situtations change. Things may be going along great and then - BOOM! - something happens that catches us off guard and we have a low point in life.

As Christians, we should change. But, that change should be moving us closer and closer to God. It should be change that makes it evident to those around us that we are walking with Jesus. 2 Corinthians 5:17 says, "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!"

So, ask yourselves these two questions:
1. How is one "in" Christ?
2. What should this "change" be?

Romans 6:1-4 tells us the answers to these two questions.

"What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer? Or don't you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life."

Be sure to continue reading in your own Bible to the end of Romans 6, as the thought of a new and changed life continues.

So, the first answer is that we are "in" Christ when we are buried with him through baptism. Our heart already began to change when we realized that our sin was separating us from God, and when we realized that Jesus was the only way to get to the Father. "Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me," John 14:6. After baptism, we are then beginning our "new life"...just like a newborn baby!

Then the next phase of changing begins. Our sins have been washed away, but that doesn't mean that we will never sin again. The change now is that we die to sin. Dying to sin may be something that happens quickly, or it may be a slow death. In other words, it may be a sin that we battle daily and have to work hard to put it to death because its got a hold on us. But, with God's strength and the help of the Holy Spirit (Acts 2:38), we can change into what God wants us to be. The blood of Jesus will continue to cleanse us and make us "new" as we confess our sins to Him.

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9

If we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin." 1 John 1:7

Yes, the world around us changes. Everything about it and everyone around us. Hopefully, we are changing for the better every day, little by little, as we grow as Christians. But God, Our Heavenly Father never changes! "I, the Lord, do not change," Malachi 3:6. Jesus Christ, our Savior never changes! Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. Hebrews 13:8

Dear God,
Thank you for never, ever changing! And, I thank you for your Son and that He never changes, either! But, God, I do ask that you will help me to change. Help me to be what you want me to be and what you know that I can be.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

Technology and Changing Rules

Technology: We've been out of town since Friday, and I have posted from the hotel with a laptop for the past three nights. The first night was just fine, but the last two were not very pleasant! The wireless Internet, which I know NOTHING about, kept disconnecting even though it said it was connected. I finally sat in the bathroom in the hotel last night to finish!! That was the only place I could get it to work. Very strange!

Tonight after we got home I went straight to "Shine Like Stars" to begin this post. I immediately noticed that I misspelled "kindergartner" in the last post. (I've now corrected it.) I remember last night thinking I would need to do spell check, but forgot. Sorry about that, but I am sure there have been misspelled words in the past and will be in the future. I try to catch them and try, also, to remember spell check. That is a neat feature on computers - but only if used!

Change: My husband just now asked me why, on all of my posts, there is only one period between sentences. I told him I've wondered that, too, but keep forgetting to research why. I hit two spaces as I write the post, but when it publishes, it goes to only one space. Well, I just researched on the Internet and found that the two-spaces-after-punctuation rule has changed!! Who is over rules like this? Exactly who changed it? I did not know that it had changed, did you??? Well, not that it matters, but I don't like that rule change :)! One article I read said that it was mostly due to money (not surprisingly). Publishers can save money by eliminating double spaces after punctuation.

New technology has enabled us to do so much more than what we ever thought possible before, but sometimes we're so reliant upon it, that when it's not working properly, it can make it hard to function. Have you ever called your bank or doctor's office and they tell you they can't help you because their computers are down? We rely on technology every day.

Yes, technology has brought about change. Some of that change is good (computers, cell phones, etc.) because it gives us more and more capabilities, but some just doesn't make sense to us (such as punctuation spaces!). It might not be bad, but it just doesn't make sense. It is comforting to know that even though technology can create new ways to learn and study about God and His Word, God and His Word will never change!

The first part of Malachi 3:6 says, "I the LORD do not change." And James 1:17 says, "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows."

Thank you, God, for never changing!